How’s Your Day?

It's been a while since I was last able to update this blog, so allow me to share this piece I wrote while at work...


There are times when a person feels that he’s on a roll… like he’s achieving so many great feats and he’s everyone’s pal. He is greeted with warm smiles when he arrives, and is bidden a sincere farewell even with just a simple pat on the back.
Then there are also times when a person feels not so good at all. Things are no longer working as good as they used to for him. He feels unappreciated and the warm smiles from his peers are gone.
Nobody is exempt from these ups and downs. Nobody is free from feeling as if the rest of the world simply doesn’t care about him or her. To say otherwise, to say that you’ve never had even a single instance when you simply feel left out by everyone else around you, is hypocritical at best.
To quote a friend who opened up to me just today, “this doesn’t just happen overnight.” In his case, the people whom he used to hang out with started leaving him out of conversations, lunches and Saturday night gimmicks. He was ranting about the situation today, saying that it’s been nearly a month since this began.
What does one do in situations like these? How does one cope when everyone else seems not to care? How does one deal with feeling left out?
I’ve been reading and writing blogs since my college days and among the topics I loved reading most were those about dealing with relationships – at home, at work, at school, etc. Most writers would write about how to best care for relationships in the work place. They admit, though, that there will always be things that could get out of hand. For instance, it is beyond our control if the people we used to hang out with begin having a preference for other company. We cannot always surmise the reasons behind this. We cannot simply conclude that they don’t like being friends with you anymore, or that they dislike you.
Phil Kaeghan, a blogger from Memphis, wrote about his experience with his officemates. He wrote, “There used to be only four of us in the department. Since our group grew to six, my three friends had hardly hung out with me. They’ve been hanging out more with one of the new guys… to think that we’ve been together for almost two years before that guy came into the picture. I asked them about it and they just shrugged their shoulders and said it was nothing.”
Elisabeth Manansala, another blogger from Manila, also shared her experience with her wave mates, “Working in a call center was a dream for me. I never realized that this dream could turn sour. My wave mates and I used to be so close. However, ever since we have moved to the production floor, they have begun leaving me out. We used to hang out on Saturday nights, our last shift for the week. Now, they’d make up excuses like they don’t feel like going out or some of them need to get home right away – then I find out the following week that they had gone out anyway. It makes me feel so dumb – if they are trying to ditch me, why won’t they just say it to my face?”
Some of us don’t have the luxury of having other friends in the workplace apart from the ones we work closely with. When situations such as those mentioned above do happen, it’d have been easier if we had other friends with whom we can hang out and rant if we have to. In my case, for example, I send a quick note to my friends who happen to be in other departments. Their responses send a quick, warm smile to brighten up my day. If my teammates leave me out of conversations or gimmicks, I need not worry. There are always other friends to socialize with.
Others are not as fortunate, however. Perhaps they work in small offices where there are only few people to hang out with (and they happen to be the ones making them feel left out). Or maybe work schedules simply don’t match so they don’t get to see your friends at work. So how does one make the most of the situation? Or, better yet, how does one feel better given that situation?


One of the options is to open up. Tell your colleagues how they’re making you feel, and simply ask them why they are behaving that way. If they are unable to give you a straight answer, fear not. The worst part is over at least – getting that out of your chest should be able to let you breathe easier. If they are unable to give you a straight answer regarding their behavior towards you, then that’s their problem and not yours. Don’t make it your problem.


Another option is to let things be. No, I don’t mean put a permanent strain on your working relationship. If, for some reason, they prefer hanging out with somebody else then you ought not to let that bring you down. Sure, you used to hang out and all, but sometimes the fire in a relationship does burn out. The bond is fleeting, so to speak. Surely, however, you have much stronger bonds than that and those bonds should give you the strength to get through each day at work.


There is no need to let yourself feel down all day because you feel left out by your colleagues. As Lorraine Caparas, yet another Pinoy blogger, wrote, “My disposition has yet to be dragged down by the behavior of those around me simply because I don’t let them bring me down. As the old saying goes, you can never put a good man down. So why should I let these people bring me down?”


That is indeed a good question to ask yourself when you begin feeling this way. “Will I let this person or those people bring me down?” We must remember that, at the end of the day, we are the ones deciding how we want our day to be no matter what the circumstance. As my friend, Francis Lagasca, told me as we exchanged Typhoon Ondoy stories (we were both stranded, though in separate places), “I choose not to be affected by things that may normally bring other people down. I choose to enjoy my day, no matter what happens and no matter what others may say.”


So, how about you? How’s your day?