A friend of mine lost her 7-year old son to a brain tumor last year. My fiance's father has been battling with a brain tumor for a number of years. Another friend currently residing in the US is going through the same ordeal.
I had opportunities long ago to gather fellow artists for causes that were bigger than us, and we were nonetheless able to make a difference no matter how small.
This time, I wish to take the opportunity to make even the smallest difference to get more attention to Brain Tumor research here in the Philippines and, if God grants it, even abroad.
I'm looking for fellow artists and enthusiasts to help me build on fundraiser productions (plays, exhibits, fun runs, concerts, anything!) that could spread awareness and gather more support for Brain Tumor research. I'm looking for people who want to help spread the word, and help gather more support for this endeavor. I hardly have the tools now but I soon will. It will take time, and I know my efforts may or may not pay off in the end, but I am determined to do what I can.
For Tito William C. Abbott...
For the late Jerome O. Peñaredondo...
For Alice P. Montemar...
And for numerous others who are waiting for help... for recognition... and for healing.
To God be the glory in this endeavor.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Not a Moment Too Soon
A friend once told me that things happen for a reason. These reasons can be rather unnerving if one chooses to let it bring the worst in him or her. I know I did, several times in fact, and not so long ago at that.
We've all had our fair share of heartaches, big and small. But hey, things do happen for a reason and I happen to believe that God does not allow things we cannot handle happen to us. We are His children and we do need discipline sometimes... a lot of times. There are times when we question His reasons for allowing ill things happen to good people. In the end, God's judgment prevails and we ought to be able to discern just how much He loves us... for no matter how bad things become, we will all still remain in His good graces. We are, afterall, blessed to have been created in His image.
I am not exactly the type of person to preach. I am rather the opposite of that. I'd rather be one to lead by example rather than by unfounded words. For this moment, I am human. For this moment, I am fine. For this moment, I am living the kind of life that I know could be loads better than it is now but I am nonetheless unshaken for I know I am blessed... and doing far better than thousands of others.
The goodness of life cannot be measured by what we have materially. The song we keep in our hearts becomes an instant reminder of why we live and what we have to live for. It is different from person to person, I am sure of that. And the song changes every moment, minute, hour, day, or year.
The song changes, and not a moment to soon at that, for when the song becomes the light of our day we will be reminded that our lives are as rich as we deem it to be. Just as mine is, and yours will be, too, if you let your song set you free.
We've all had our fair share of heartaches, big and small. But hey, things do happen for a reason and I happen to believe that God does not allow things we cannot handle happen to us. We are His children and we do need discipline sometimes... a lot of times. There are times when we question His reasons for allowing ill things happen to good people. In the end, God's judgment prevails and we ought to be able to discern just how much He loves us... for no matter how bad things become, we will all still remain in His good graces. We are, afterall, blessed to have been created in His image.
I am not exactly the type of person to preach. I am rather the opposite of that. I'd rather be one to lead by example rather than by unfounded words. For this moment, I am human. For this moment, I am fine. For this moment, I am living the kind of life that I know could be loads better than it is now but I am nonetheless unshaken for I know I am blessed... and doing far better than thousands of others.
The goodness of life cannot be measured by what we have materially. The song we keep in our hearts becomes an instant reminder of why we live and what we have to live for. It is different from person to person, I am sure of that. And the song changes every moment, minute, hour, day, or year.
The song changes, and not a moment to soon at that, for when the song becomes the light of our day we will be reminded that our lives are as rich as we deem it to be. Just as mine is, and yours will be, too, if you let your song set you free.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Curtain Call
At times, life spins so fast,
Too fast that you hardly get to catch your breath,
And the thought of stopping
Feels silly and trite.
At times, the heartaches
Catch you blind-sided and unaware,
And leave you with your mouth
Gaping open, voiceless and meek.
Life is a mystery, shrouded
By a blanket of question marks and exclamations,
And at sixteen, there's hardly
Any room for answers in your head.
Laugh for no reason,
Cry till you can't cry anymore,
Drink till you can't see straight and
Start walking into walls.
A kaleidoscope of memories
Keep flooding my head each waking hour.
Times felt like it flew so fast,
But the clock says it's been barely a day past.
"25 September 1995
Subject: Andy
Dearest Anne,
I hope this does not catch you off-guard, dear. My fingers are still numb and my eyes are still cloudy from crying all night. As you know, Andy met a car accident last Tuesday before his scheduled flight to Chicago then Manila coming from Boston MA. He was in a coma but remained stable for the past few nights. I got a message on the machine last night from the nurses station, bringing me the saddest news.
Anne, sweetheart, our beloved Andy is gone. He passed away in his sleep last night at past 10. His mum and I are still very much in pain from the news - our only son is lost. I don't know how else to continue this email but let me know when we can call you. You are already a daughter to us. Marie would love to hear your voice right now. Please write back soon.
Love always,
Martin"
Written on September 27, 1995. First published on "Maiden of the Clouds" last 24 January 2000. (url no longer available)
Too fast that you hardly get to catch your breath,
And the thought of stopping
Feels silly and trite.
At times, the heartaches
Catch you blind-sided and unaware,
And leave you with your mouth
Gaping open, voiceless and meek.
Life is a mystery, shrouded
By a blanket of question marks and exclamations,
And at sixteen, there's hardly
Any room for answers in your head.
Laugh for no reason,
Cry till you can't cry anymore,
Drink till you can't see straight and
Start walking into walls.
A kaleidoscope of memories
Keep flooding my head each waking hour.
Times felt like it flew so fast,
But the clock says it's been barely a day past.
"25 September 1995
Subject: Andy
Dearest Anne,
I hope this does not catch you off-guard, dear. My fingers are still numb and my eyes are still cloudy from crying all night. As you know, Andy met a car accident last Tuesday before his scheduled flight to Chicago then Manila coming from Boston MA. He was in a coma but remained stable for the past few nights. I got a message on the machine last night from the nurses station, bringing me the saddest news.
Anne, sweetheart, our beloved Andy is gone. He passed away in his sleep last night at past 10. His mum and I are still very much in pain from the news - our only son is lost. I don't know how else to continue this email but let me know when we can call you. You are already a daughter to us. Marie would love to hear your voice right now. Please write back soon.
Love always,
Martin"
Written on September 27, 1995. First published on "Maiden of the Clouds" last 24 January 2000. (url no longer available)
Monday, August 16, 2010
All the Little Things...
My baby boy woke up this morning, climbed down the bed, picked up his little tiger stuffed toy and pushed it to my left cheek, waking me up to his smiling gaze. "Mommmmmy!"
I got up, picked him up and a warm embrace was quickly deposited around me neck, together with a snuggling face to my chest. The morning was instantly beautiful. The overcast skies were hardly noticeable, and the kitchen smelled of freshly made coffee, Milo, and cereals. His Ate and Kuya had prepared breakfast for us.
For me and my two older kids, weekends are when we get to be happiest because our baby boy comes home to sprinkle some fun back into our lives. "Wyatt is King!" as his Kuya would say. This day was spent playing ball, having pick-me-ups and fetch (Wyatt would throw his toys out of his toy baskets and Mommy, Ate or Kuya would collect them back... much to his glee), dancing, singing, and eating.
Weekends are often planned - we plan what food to cook, what movies to watch, what activities to do - especially now since we're spending weekends at home in light of the rains. Last night, Ate cooked her own recipe of chicken soup with carrots, corn and cabbage (no corn for the little boy, but he enjoyed the soup nonetheless!). Today was squash and string beans in oyster sauce day (and he kept coming back for more!). Next weekend, we'll be having sinigang and sweet and sour fish. We love to cook our favorites when our little King is home, and boy do we eat our hearts out!
We feel so elated with every smile, every laugh, every kiss, every hug he showers us with. We feel so enamored with the sound of his voice when he speaks out his little words, when he calls out to us, or hugs our legs when he wants a hug or to be picked up. Thank God indeed for this little wonder. Praise Him for this answered prayer.
I got up, picked him up and a warm embrace was quickly deposited around me neck, together with a snuggling face to my chest. The morning was instantly beautiful. The overcast skies were hardly noticeable, and the kitchen smelled of freshly made coffee, Milo, and cereals. His Ate and Kuya had prepared breakfast for us.
For me and my two older kids, weekends are when we get to be happiest because our baby boy comes home to sprinkle some fun back into our lives. "Wyatt is King!" as his Kuya would say. This day was spent playing ball, having pick-me-ups and fetch (Wyatt would throw his toys out of his toy baskets and Mommy, Ate or Kuya would collect them back... much to his glee), dancing, singing, and eating.
Weekends are often planned - we plan what food to cook, what movies to watch, what activities to do - especially now since we're spending weekends at home in light of the rains. Last night, Ate cooked her own recipe of chicken soup with carrots, corn and cabbage (no corn for the little boy, but he enjoyed the soup nonetheless!). Today was squash and string beans in oyster sauce day (and he kept coming back for more!). Next weekend, we'll be having sinigang and sweet and sour fish. We love to cook our favorites when our little King is home, and boy do we eat our hearts out!
We feel so elated with every smile, every laugh, every kiss, every hug he showers us with. We feel so enamored with the sound of his voice when he speaks out his little words, when he calls out to us, or hugs our legs when he wants a hug or to be picked up. Thank God indeed for this little wonder. Praise Him for this answered prayer.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Tomorrow
Overcast are the skies, hiding the blinding rays of the noontime sun.
A little weary-eyed and listless, but the urge to forge on has just begun.
Contentment makes the exhausted drink in the sprinkle of hope for change.
Fulfillment drives those broken from despairing to holding on.
The sun will always be there, no matter how often it rains,
Just as the Father always keeps His eyes on His children.
Welcome the sunlight, as it warms the soul even through all kinds of heartache.
Welcome the rain as it quenches the thirst for love, no matter how empty one feels.
I have often stared into my reflection, seeing the empty shell I've been
After all the losses, the aches, the deception, the pain, the lies, the despair.
It is only when I look into the eyes of my children that I see the light of love,
And when Monday comes, I find myself stuck in the dark once again.
For once, I want each day to be filled with the morning sun.
For once, I want each afternoon to be filled with the wetting rain.
For once, I want to live my life beyond the weekends I get to spend with my family.
For the Lord reminds me that my children are mine as I am theirs.
I looked into the mirror today and found a secret smile in my eyes,
The smile only my angels know about, the one we keep to ourselves each time,
The smile no one else can see, except our Father who keeps us whole,
And I've decided to keep that smile, no matter what, so I'll be whole completely.
Contentment will not bring me far from merely overcoming my own heart.
Fulfillment will come from owning each day with that secret smile I keep inside.
Tomorrow is a new day, and a new day will be met with grace and blessings,
For my Father will keep me and my children, and we'll always be one.
A little weary-eyed and listless, but the urge to forge on has just begun.
Contentment makes the exhausted drink in the sprinkle of hope for change.
Fulfillment drives those broken from despairing to holding on.
The sun will always be there, no matter how often it rains,
Just as the Father always keeps His eyes on His children.
Welcome the sunlight, as it warms the soul even through all kinds of heartache.
Welcome the rain as it quenches the thirst for love, no matter how empty one feels.
I have often stared into my reflection, seeing the empty shell I've been
After all the losses, the aches, the deception, the pain, the lies, the despair.
It is only when I look into the eyes of my children that I see the light of love,
And when Monday comes, I find myself stuck in the dark once again.
For once, I want each day to be filled with the morning sun.
For once, I want each afternoon to be filled with the wetting rain.
For once, I want to live my life beyond the weekends I get to spend with my family.
For the Lord reminds me that my children are mine as I am theirs.
I looked into the mirror today and found a secret smile in my eyes,
The smile only my angels know about, the one we keep to ourselves each time,
The smile no one else can see, except our Father who keeps us whole,
And I've decided to keep that smile, no matter what, so I'll be whole completely.
Contentment will not bring me far from merely overcoming my own heart.
Fulfillment will come from owning each day with that secret smile I keep inside.
Tomorrow is a new day, and a new day will be met with grace and blessings,
For my Father will keep me and my children, and we'll always be one.
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